


Eyes of Juniper

by Luluthechoosingcrow



Category: Metallica
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Attempt at Humor, Drinking, Fluff, Het, Light Angst, Multi, Queer Het, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-13 20:26:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17494766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luluthechoosingcrow/pseuds/Luluthechoosingcrow
Summary: Lars is a dick and pisses off an ancient goddess... so she turns him (and Kirk cuz he's just so pretty) into a woman until he learns his lesson... yeah...





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> OKay, so I spent like months thinking about whether to do this or not. On the one hand, yes this has so much potential to be fun (and I've seen some other sex swap stories i like). On the other hand, a lot of the whole sex/Gender swap thing is really stereotypical gender shit and goes against what I personally believe. But, creative juices won out and I'll try to keep true to character as much as possible while also making this funny and not too misogynistic (if that's possible). Okay enough rambling here's the first part of the story

Title: Eyes of Juniper

Author (as known in various sites): Lady Lover-rockfic, luluthechoosingcrow -ao3, theladylovingcrow-wattpad and devianart, pleasedontmakemechoose-Tumblr (abandoned)

Pairing: Lars Ulrich/James Hetfield, Kirk Hammett/Cliff Burton, Lars/Female Character (briefly), Lars/Male Character (kinda, more just awkward one sided flirting then Lars gets rescued by his knight in a ratty Motorhead shirt)

Fandom: Metallica 

Tags/warnings: Sex-swap AU, early 80s era 'tallica, smut, gay smut, also het smut since the whole gender switch thing, drinking and alcohol, lots of cussing and profanity, should warn that Lars goes into detail about taking a piss cuz ya know it's new to him, Idk I'll add tags per chapter as I think of shit

Notes:  
1\. I'm back, bitches! (I know I know I've been "back" a million times but... we'll see)  
2\. This fic is probably gonna end up being several chapters.  
3\. ..... I'm a lesbian and I've only ever written or read gay smut mostly so..... The straight sex might be a bit awkward sorry I'll try my best  
4\. This story is inspired by the song 'Jewel of the Summertime' by Audioslave (on their album Revelations) I love this song and it is awesome you should totally go listen to it.  
5\. The witch-lady is inspired by Aine, Celtic goddess of love, summer, wealth, and sovereignty. I literally just googled 'goddess of love' then scrolled through a list to find someone other than Aphrodite (don't get me wrong I love Greek mythology but it just wasn't right for this fic) and came across this girl. I only did a quick Wikipedia read, I'm not planning on going too heavy into her myth and more just using her for the plot but.... If anybody is more well versed in Celtic mythology and I seem to get something wrong, please feel free to comment and I'll try my best to make it accurate!  
6\. Woo damn that was a lot of stuff, I don't blame you if you didn't bother reading it. Now, on with the show!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1984 (Lars' POV)

The first thing I felt when I woke up was this odd sense of.... well, just something being fuckin' off. Like I was missing something, but also like I had gained something? I felt like a brand-new person, although in my gut I was still me.... Man, I must have had WAY too much Jager last night, it's fucking with my head.

I slowly peeled the itchy fleece blanket off of my body and rolled onto the floor, which was about a foot from the bare mattress. We really needed to invest in some sheets, especially if we wanted to keep bringing chicks back to the house. Apparently, most girls are not at all impressed by stained, lumpy mattresses with almost no bedding on them.

Speaking of girls and mattresses, didn't I bring one home last night? I raised my head slightly from its position from the threadbare carpet and looked at the bed, trying to see if Anna (Was that her name?) was still there. Yep, there was a naked hippy still passed out in my bed, sweet!

I groaned quietly as I stood and shuffled my way out the door and down the hall to the bathroom. It was then I noticed that I didn't really have the usual alcohol-and-early-morning-and-piss induced erection, but my bladder was still straining. Huh, weird.

Whatever. I just wanted to pee, get rid of that feeling in my gut, and get that dead possum taste out of my mouth. Pushing open the door and wincing as the creaky hinges screeched through my headache, I pulled down my boxers and reached for my dick.... What the fuck?

WHAT THE FUCK?

WHERE WAS MY MOTHERFUCKIN DICK?!

Trying not to panic, I looked down, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment so I wouldn't have to see right away. But, of course, that kind of defeated the purpose of looking down, so I opened them again. No dick. The hell was going on?

Taking a deep, calming breath, I tried to think through this rationally. My dick, for whatever reason, was not where it was supposed to be. But, my bladder was still full and begging to be released, so obviously my system or whatever was still working. That need to pee was turning into a burning pain, so I tried to come up with a solution. If I don't have a cock, then I can piss through....what, exactly? Is there anything down there at all? What is even going on!?

Pulling in another deep breath through my nose, I let it hiss out between clenched teeth as I slowly, so slowly, touched my fingers to my abdomen and moved them downwards, dreading what I would find. Annnnnd....... Yep, there it was. 

Velvety soft lips, slick, pungent juices; anatomy I knew so well but never, EVER expected to feel on myself. My crisis would have to wait a minute, though, 'cause my bladder was going to explode and no dick be damned I needed to do something about it. 

Gingerly sitting my ass down on the toilet (god, so weird sitting down just to piss) I tried to slowly let it out. The feeling was...well there was certainly relief of the pressure, but it also felt strange in a way I couldn't really describe. I could possibly get used to it, not that I'm planning on staying like this or anything.

Cringing as I wiped, I slowly pulled the boxers back up to my hips that I just now noticed were a little wider than usual. And my hands, were they smaller? Softer? My chest too....HOLY SHIT I HAVE BOOBS! That, I might be able to get used to.

I turned to the mirror, and was quite shocked at what I saw. There was a girl standing there, with large, doe-like green eyes staring back at me from underneath brown bangs. She had a nice tan on her upper body, although her breasts were still pale where she clutched at them, small rosy nipples poking through her fingers. A pair of black cotton boxers stretched tight around the small curve of her hips, but hung loose around her milky thighs that almost touched. And this...this chick was me. ME.

Shaking my head, I splashed some water onto my face and rubbed my eyes, hoping it was just a fucked up dream. No such luck.

I was considering hiding in the bathroom forever, because no way in hell could I let the guys see me like this, let alone figure out how to explain, when I heard a scream. It sounded a lot like Kirk's voice, so I pushed my problems to the back of my head and ran into the hallway, stopping dead in my tracks at what I saw.

Anna, or whatever her name was, stood at the top of the stairs, dressed in flowing black robes with green Celtic designs all over them. She had jewels and charms hanging from her waist, wrists, neck, and ears, each tinkling as she tossed some sort of... Powder onto a very shocked looking Kirk. Or at least, I was pretty sure it was Kirk. He (she?) seemed to be in the same boat as me as far as bodies were concerned at the moment. 

With a final dusting of powder, witchy-chick turned to me and smirked. "I hope you learn your lesson, I'll be back in a week. And as for you...." She turned to Kirk, "Well, you're just too damn cute! I couldn't resist seeing what a pretty girl you'd make!"

"This is your fault? You bitch! " I yelled. "Why the hell did you do this to us? Who are you? Change us back, then get the fuck out! I don't wanna be a damn girl, and neither does Kirk!" God this was fucking insane, that chick was crazy!

She hissed at me, eyes flashing in a way that could not be human. "Now you listen, GIRL. You'll stay like this for as long as I deem fit. You need to learn some respect for women, and being one is the best way to do that. I suppose you don't remember what you did last night?" She asked, looking bored and ready lo go fuck up someone else's life. 

I thought hard, then it came creeping back to me. The bar, the Jager, the flirting with a group of girls, copping a feel and getting slapped, then her changing her mind and coming home with me, talking dirty in her ear, then unworldly sex, her whispering what sounded like a spell in my ear as I came... Holy shit.

"Is this about me grabbing your ass? I'm sorry! Please don't do this!" I begged, finally starting to let the situation sink in and desperation set. This could not be happening.

"Hmph," she snorted, "Begging isn't going to get you anywhere. I've seen humans beg for much less, and they still didn't get it. No, you'll love your life as a woman for a week, both of you, and hopefully you'll come to realize the struggles and terror that comes with it. If you've learned your lessons and are truly sorry, then you will be turned back. If not... Well you'll just have to stay like this until you do." 

And just like that, she turned with a flourish and disappeared into thin air. My morning could not get any crazier, I was sure if it. But, because I wasn't actually sure and was suddenly doubting all logical occurrences in the world, I knocked on the wooden railing. That done, I turned towards Kirk.

He (seriously, do I call us he's or she's now? This is so fucked up) was shaking like a leaf, looking like he'd fall over any moment. I went over to grab him, calm him down, something.

"Shh shh, it's all right, Kirk," I muttered in his ear,  
awkwardly patting his back. I never thought I'd need to, but it really fucking sucks I can't comfort him any better than this. It was like this sour feeling in my chest that nestled in right next to my heart, whispering how awful I was at this and how he's probably mad at me for getting him into this situation.

Before I could ask him if he wanted to punt me out of a window, though, I heard some shuffling and talking coming from downstairs. James and Cliff were headed up here. As much as I wanted to hide for a week until my fuckin' "lesson" was up, I couldn't exactly drag Kirk into the hall closet in his current state, so I stood my ground.

"Hey, ladies, we do appreciate the service you've done our ugly ass friends, but could you keep the cat fight down until you've left the house?" 

Ah, James, the man still didn't know how to talk to women after all this time. He was either too shy to form a sentence, or he put on this macho bravado that turned him into a drink asshole. Either way, this lady was not pleased.

By now I guess the guys had reached the landing Kirk and I were at and saw me hugging him, because Cliff chimed in, "Aww, they've made up! Good! Now, can I ask what exactly you two were telling about so loudly that it woke me and my boy James up? Did Lars do something?"

My back straightened at that, and I turned my head to him indignantly. "I did fucking not!" I retorted, even though apparently this whole situation was my fault. No need for them to know that, though.

"Holy shit, Lars!?!" James screamed.

I sighed. "Hi, Jamie."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James wakes up to the 'surprise you've gone mental' to end all 'surprise you've gone mental's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Okay, so, I'm a gender critical woman and a feminist (if you feel the need to fight me on this don't just ignore my story and leave pls) so this story is kinda uncomfortable for me to write at moments. I'm trying to be realistic to the general views/actions of male metalheads from the 80s.... But that also means there is a lot of objecting and misogynistic stuff being said. I apologize, obviously I do not at all actually support this stuff in life, but I felt I should warn it is there. I want to state again that I do not actually view women this way, and I fucking hate how we're objectified, stereotyped, and shoved into the bullshit gender boxes, but there wouldn't be a story of i didn't. Okay, now back to the show

(James' POV)

I was awoken by a shriek at bumfuck o'clock this morning, and I was not happy about it. Who the hell is screaming this early in the morning? Well, judging from what I can hear past the bongos in my head, it was two chicks having a fight upstairs. Great. 

Also, why the fuck was I down here when my bed was on the second floor of this shitty house? Ah, yes, fuckin' Lars. Little shit had to go and bring home some hippy dippy chick (no disrespect meant, Cliff), which of course meant I had to vacate the premises of our room so he could give her a mediocre fuck. 

I groaned and scrubbed a hand over my face, trying to rub away the crust from my eyes and the drool spilling down my chin. A chipped coffee mug and half empty water bottle were suddenly being held in front of me and I squinted up at the source. Cliff!

I slowly sat up, groping around on the back of the couch for some leverage that wasn't coated in tacky month old beer. He patiently waited for me to be upright then handed me the water and coffee. Man, Cliff is by far the best person in the world!

After I had drained both containers, he hauled me to my feet and asked, "Dude, who're the chicks?"

I shook my head, then winced as last night's tequila throbbed. "I don't know, man, probably came back to the house with us. I remember Lars grabbing that chick, did Kirk get one too?"

Cliff looked thoughtful. "Nah, at least I don't think so. He said he was too tired from yesterday morning," he implied with a lewd grin.

I snorted and walked towards the stairs. Despite what some people might think, I didn't have a problem with gay guys. I mean, yeah sure, maybe when I was younger, but seeing two of my closest friends, especially the amazing Cliff Burton, so happy together I just couldn't keep thinking that it was bad. So, no, I didn't really have a problem with it, but I totally teased them. What are friends for, after all?

"Hey, ladies, we do appreciate the service you've done our ugly ass friends, but could you keep the cat fight down until you've left the house?" I yelled, still trying to figure out where the second chick had come from. Maybe Lars had grabbed two? I was pretty sure that I hadn't brought anybody home last night, at least.

Cliff must have followed me up, because he suddenly was leaning on the railing, observing the two petite, scantily clad girls hugging on the landing.

"Aww, they've made up! Good! Now, can I ask what exactly you two were yelling about so loudly that it woke me and my boy James up? Did Lars do something?" He asked, smiling at them, although I could see the confusion in his eyes.

The brunette chick stood up straight and turned to us with a sneer, "I did fucking not!" she replied.

"Holy shit, Lars!?!" I screamed. That looked a lot like Lars, at least. Those swirling Juniper eyes, the little upturned nose, the pouty pink lips. Hell, even the slight accent as he (she?) sassed me was perfect. Did I just walk into an episode of the fuckin Twilight Zone?

"Hi, Jamie," Lars?! sighed, letting go of the other girl to step back and run a hand through his hair.

"What. The. Fuck." It was all I could think to say. I mean seriously, WHAT THE FUCK? What had happened between right now and last night to turn Lars into a (admittedly very hot) girl?

"I don't focking know, man," Lars sighed again, "I woke up, went to piss and my dick wasn't there. Then I heard Kirk scream and that chick I brought home last night started jabbering some shit about respect for women and turned Kirk too, then she fucking disappeared!"

I stood there for a minute, staring at him and taking it all in. It was that moment I really notice Kirk, too. Now that Lars had stepped away from him, I could see the slim, still mostly Kirk-like but definitely female, body shuddering in the dingy light from the window down the hall.

Cliff strode over to Kirk then and reached out a hand, gently cupping his cheek so that he could look at him. Kirk still looked bewildered and frightened, but seemed to calm down once he felt Cliff's touch. My bassist moved in closer, murdering something to Kirk that had him blush and bury himself in Cliff's arms.

Lars seemed to have reached the same conclusion as me: they needed some privacy to talk and calm Kirk down, because he grabbed my arm and led me back downstairs to the couch.

I settled back against the lumpy cushion and waited for him to say something, because I sure as hell couldn't think of anything. 

"So, I've been cursed, I guess," he said, sound a lot more dejected than he had up there. 

"Yeah, obviously," shit, I should maybe not sound like an asshole right now, this is a delicate situation! "You said the girl you brought home last night did this to you because of disrespect women. You DID grab her ass... "

Lars had the decency to look ashamed, "...yeah, buT THEN SHE CHANGED HER MIND AND WENT HOME WITH ME."

Oh, great, and now he's getting all defensive and angry like he does when it even sounds like you're insinuating something about his game or sexuality or whatever.

"Dude, she probably went home with you to do this." He harumphed at my superior logic and crossed his arms, inadvertently drawing my attention to one of the new additions to his physique.

"Alright, so you were a dick and she cursed you to get back at you. Weird magic, but nothing new. But what the fuck happened to Kirk?"


End file.
